Panic in her eyes, the glistening of silent tears forming as she lets out a whisper, “I just feel so behind in life,”
Did that just hit you in the stomach too?
Here’s the thing – that moment I just described? I haven’t just seen it happen a couple times; I’ve seen this terrifying thought voiced out loud at nearly every women’s event I’ve ever hosted. It’s usually said by more than one woman each night.
I get it! If only you knew how much I truly relate to this statement… I mean, I spent the majority of my life so, far checking off the “life to do list” as fast as I could.
We’re all fed some variation of: get good grades, fall in love, get the right job, get married, buy a house, produce 2.5 kids, start a 401k… blah blah blah.
Then, let’s add on the pressure of today’s culture, which may include thoughts along the lines of: find your passion, launch a successful start-up, travel the world, align your chakras, keep a perfect insta life, become enlightened…
Already exhausted? Same, girl!
Funny enough, this looks ridiculous when we slow down and think about it (or write it all down), However, if you’re feeling behind in life, you’ve got some kind of silly list like this in your own head.
Even worse? You’ve attached a made up timeline to the mess.
So, let’s really reflect on this for a moment.
Lies That You’re Behind
Why are you feeling behind in your life? Most likely, you’ve subconsciously (or actively) produced some BS timeline of what your life should look like.
Either that or you’re looking at everyone else’s lives to compare where their at and that it’s an indicator of where you should be at.
Sally started her business at 21 and made her first 100k by 23…
Carol is already married, has a house, and her first baby along the way…
Lexie Alford, 21, just became the youngest person to visit every country in the world. (True story…)
So… of course you’re led to think, “WTF am I even doing with my life?!”
But hang on, do you even want to own a house? Or visit Senegal? Or work 12+ hours a day as your own boss?
Also, take a moment to recognize where you are and the choices that got you there. I’d take a solid bet that your priorities look a bit different than Sally, Carol, or Lexie.
Here are two BS beliefs to let go of ASAP:
- There’s an ideal timeline to life.
- Our journeys should all look the same.
Simple enough, right? But take a second to see where those two lies have been tripping you up.
Social Media Derailments
I could write an entire article on how social media is driving us crazy (Oh wait, I did), so I won’t get on my soap box right now. Simply recognize the fact that this pressure of “feeling behind in life” has only been perpetuated by social media.
Just 20 years ago, the only people we could compare our lives to were those in our physical proximity and celebrities. Now, we have access to the lives of millions of people around the planet. Which means we now have millions of people to compare with.
So maybe avoid social media if you’re really feeling down about your life. Or try my tips on how to do so in a conscious way.
Reflect on the Journey
Let’s do a quick exercise.
Take a moment to reflect back on who you were about 5-10 years ago. (I’d suggest 10 years if you’re older than 35 or so.)
Reflect for a moment on who you were, your goals at that age, and what your dream life looked like.
Be honest with yourself.
Chances are, you’ve either surpassed the goals you had in mind for your life or you went in a completely new direction. Maybe your life looks so different that you couldn’t have possible predicted where you’d be now.
Awesome! Celebrate how fucking far you’ve come and stop paying attention to “how far you have to go.”
Feeling like you’ve let your past self down? That’s okay, too (keep reading).
Today is a Turning Point
If that exercise left you feeling disappointed, like you haven’t made the progress you’d hoped to – that’s alright!
Here’s why – you’re now aware of it and we can use that awareness for good instead of a reason to keep beating yourself up.
If you feel stuck, just ask yourself what you’ve been avoiding.
How’s it feeling in the body when you think about it? Maybe a tightness in the throat or chest? Uneasy belly? An urge to say, “screw you, Taryn!” and throw your device across the room?
Totally normal. You’re probably avoiding fear.
Fear is responsible for keeping us stuck.
Maybe you’ve just been floating your way through life. You’ve been getting by, maybe complaining along the way, and doing a LOT of coping. You may cope with binge watching TV, eating sweets, and buying shit that you don’t need.
How are you avoiding fear in your life?
Good news! You can decide to pivot today. By simply recognizing the fear, how it feels on your body, and how you respond to it, you can start to take control.
Small moments of taking back control is where you get back “on track” for your dream life.
Self Awareness Blocks
Not too sure what the fear is or what’s holding you back? I’ve got an easy way for you to explore this.
Take my quiz on what’s holding you back from your dreams.
You’ll be given direction on one of your main blocks and receive a powerful workbook on how to start working through it (100% free).
You are NOT Behind
Know this, we’re all growing at our own pace. Honor yourself by appreciating the path you’re on.
You’re exactly where you’re meant to be right now.
If you’re unsure, use this mantra:
I don’t need to have everything figured out. I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.
Repeat that daily until you start to FEEL it.
I’m cheering for you!