Do you need a self talk makeover? My guess is, you’re sometimes a dick to yourself. You know, there are things you beat yourself up about in your brain, like every morning when you sleep in instead of getting up after your first alarm goes off. It’s time to check in with your self talk and make some changes.

Words are powerful, right? My home girl, JK Rowling conveys this point well:

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.”

Albus Dumbledore

So, of course, the way you talk to yourself matters. It’s actually one of the most basic lessons I share when I’m working with clients trying to amp up their volume of self love. You actually have to speak to yourself with compassion and kindness.

Ready for my top tips on how to change this up? Check out this vid:

Evaluate Your Self Talk

Can you stop and consider the thoughts that are stuck on repeat in your mind? You may not even be fully aware of them, because they’ve been stuck for so long that they’re just background noise by this point.

It’s pretty crazy, but we lie to ourselves pretty often.

When my clients pause an reflect on the three thoughts that are nearly constant, they’re lies. These thoughts are often the result of limiting beliefs we have about ourselves. They’re unnecessary self-criticism.

Do you beat yourself up? Do you often tell yourself all the things you’re doing wrong or how you doubt yourself?

Just notice. Witness your internal dialogue.

Pause Your Self Talk

Once you’re able to witness your self talk, you can become aware of when the talk is going negative.

I love choosing a fun word as a reminder to pause. Among some of my friends and clients, we use the word “Sparkle” as a reminder that we’ve said something harsh about ourselves.

For example, if a friend said something about how frumpy she looks, I’d say, “sparkle!” This would remind her to stop. Then, she would replace that statement with a compliment about herself.

Pick a word you can even say to yourself, out loud or in your mind. Bonus points: Get your friends on board.

Tone Up Your Self Talk

How do you talk to yourself?

I’m not asking about the words you speak, but more about the tone in which you use. Are you internally eye-rolling as you complain to yourself about your lack of self control at the dessert bar?

Switch it up. Is there a more loving tone that resonates with you?

Try speaking to yourself as you would a best friend or a lover. Perhaps try talking to yourself as a child or, as I prefer, your son or daughter. See how the different tones make you feel.

When you remember to “sparkle,” you can change you tone and offer some reassurance in a way that’s kind and compassionate.

self talk

Share the Love

Changing up the way we speak about ourselves is so much easier when we have friends on board to keep us accountable.

Share this video with some of your close friends and commit to changing things up. Start using the word “Sparkle” or pick your own word that you enjoy. Give each other support!

And let me know in the comments, how are you going to change up your self talk?

You’ve got me cheering you on!

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