I still find myself a bit shocked every time I receive the compliment, “you are so authentic!” It’s still a little odd, even though it’s by far the most popular positive feedback that I receive from people. Part of my brain is still in disbelief that I’ve been able to shift things so dramatically in my life. You see, I used to the the exact opposite of authentic. I showed up each day as character versions of myself and had no idea how to live in authenticity.
About four years ago, I began making major shifts in my life. I was already a short time into teaching yoga, which was continuing to shape me into a newer version of myself everyday. My greatest transformation, however, was when I finally decided to stop letting other people define my faith. I began exploring spirituality at my own pace. I bought crystals, chanted through meditations, and found my way to one of my greatest teachers, Gabrielle Bernstein.
It was a catalyst. In confidently choosing my own beliefs, I got a surge of new authenticity pulsing through my veins. It was the encouragement I needed to start exploring who I truly was, to start appreciating her, and let others see all of her. I chose self love. Suddenly, it seemed silly to be anything other than myself.
Talk on Authenticity at Dojo Co-Working
I find myself very honored to have been invited recently to speak on the theme of authenticity at a recent Lady Boss event. It took place at a popular co-working space in Bali call Dojo. I presented my talk along with two other amazing women, followed by a question panel at the end.
Here is the footage from my talk, along with the Q:A at the end:
It’s funny that I spoke about perfectionism in my talk, as my diva brain tried to run wild again as I edited this less-than-perfect video. I gotta admit though, the content is on point, regardless of the delivery 🙂
3 Ways to Live Authentically
In the presentation, I share my story – how I fumbled through all the lessons I’ve had to learn about authenticity. It wasn’t pretty. In fact, my path to trying to present myself as a “better version” of who I felt I was proved to be nothing other than exhausting. It didn’t help me to belong. Instead, it left me feeling lonely and disoriented.
Drop Your Perfectionism
Perfectionism is enemy #1 to authenticity. I spent my entire life chasing perfectionism and can tell you that not only is it unachievable, it also makes you unrelatable. Plus, there is a constant moving of the end goal. Nothing is ever good enough. You’re never good enough.
It holds you back in business, too. If we aim to have the “perfect website” or send the “perfect email,” we’ll stay stuck. Things don’t move forward when perfection is the goal.
Forget About the “Should’s”
We also have to release the overwhelming number of “should’s” in our vocabulary. How many times a day do you say that you should be doing something?
I should be working harder in the gym. I should be eating kale. I should be trying Facebook ads. I should be reading more. I should be a better mom, etc.
The biggest problem with the “should’s” is that they’re usually not even our own thoughts, desires, or beliefs. They’re planted by someone else.
My challenge for you: Write down “I should ______ ” and fill in the blank. Over and over again. Until you run out of ideas. Then, go back through and really consider each one. Does it actually resonate with your soul’s desire? No? Cool, cross that bad boy out and move on.
Write Your Own Rules
Give yourself permission to create your own rules. You’re not here to live up to anyone else’s standards but your own. You truly have the power to decide what you choose to value in your life, the direction it heads in, etc.
This is in business, friendships, budgeting, dating. Omg, dating! Stop “following the rules” society lays out for you and claim the right to do it your own way. There is no right or wrong with authenticity. It’s just being yourself.
Let People See YOU Fully
When I was training to be a yoga teacher, I found a way to let my guard down with the people in my training class. For the first time, I allowed people to see me fully – vulnerable, nervous, goofy, depressed, all of it. They embraced ALL of me and are some of my greatest friends to this day.
I had lived most of my life feeling like I had to hide away parts of my personality when I was with certain people. There was pressure to act put together for my work and school friends. Then I felt like hiding away all my nerdiness with my party friends. It was exhausting.
When we can start to be a consistent version of ourselves in all settings, that’s when we’re living in authenticity. Sure, some of my “friends” fell away, but the true ones remain. That’s what matters.
Are you ready to live authentically?
It’s scary. It’s raw and vulnerable. But honey, it’s so worth it.
What steps can you make to start living more authentically today? Comment below so I can cheer you on.
Get on with your badass self!